While You Were Sleeping

October 2009

I was on another guys’ night out with Fresh, his roommate, Roger, and other law students. The night was pretty uneventful other than Fresh’s roommate attempting to hold my hand on the way back to the car, and Roger throwing me over his shoulder and spinning me around and in the process of dropping me, he also fell over. I have a visible scar on my elbow from that night. Anyway, when we got back to Fresh’s place the guys wanted to play poker. I was tired and crashed in Fresh’s bed, but not before a wingman tried to get me to sleep in Fresh’s roommate’s room. This is the conversation I missed while I was passed out.

Fresh’s Roommate: So why is she sleeping in your bed?
Fresh: I don’t know
Fresh’s Roommate: Are you guys going to cuddle?
Fresh: No, we never cuddle
Fresh’s Roommate: So why did she choose your bed?
Fresh: I don’t know, because we’re friends
Fresh’s Roommate: Are you going to do anything with her in your bed?
Fresh: No, we’re friends
Fresh’s Roommate: So why is she in your bed again?

Private Viewing

Palmer: Are you gonna cheat on me with Dwight?
Lynx: lmao How do you like them apples?
Palmer: Only if I can watch Lynx
Lynx: Hmm well I dont know about that. I can let you listen but not watch

Holiday Inn Proposition

I have suspected for some time now that my neighbor Rousseau has a thing for me. I’ve done everything within my power to not encourage this, because that would be bad news bears. We were hanging out one night and he had this goofy look on his face, I knew I was treading some treacherous waters. And then my unconscious began playing tricks on both of us.

Lynx: Fuck I was gonna post something on the Lynx blog. Can’t remember

Bad-Ass: That’s what happens when you [party] haha

Lynx: So Thursday night, I couldn’t remember what songs I wanted to play so I made drafts in my phone. However with the Blackberry you can’t make an anonymous draft, so I had  Rousseau as the recipient. I accidentally sent him “Holiday Inn” and he checked his phone like 30 min later and he was like “You want to go to the Holiday Inn??”

Bad-Ass: LOL

Lynx: If that wasn’t a sign of “Let’s go fuck,” I don’t know what is.

Don’t You DARE

Bad-Ass: Next Feb 14th when I see you, I’m gonna make it super awkward and say “Happy Anniversary babe” and kiss you in front of all your friends. Lol Shake up the Dodecahedron. I’m totally gonna do it hahaha. Oh you’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll do even better. Write little love poems on your wall from time to time hahahaha. Ok you’re physically vomiting right now, aren’t you?

The Date: Linus and Lynx

Background information you should know. If you refer back to the Dodecahedron of Lust entry, Linus was after Talyn. Well apparently Linus is now after me. We were at a bar for a friend’s birthday, I was wanting to leave as soon as we got there, but every time I thought about it someone new came in that I had to stay and talk to. I finally got my way out when Linus said he had to meet up with his roommate at Wall St. Before leaving, a friend pulled me aside and said that Linus was into me, he’d been looking at me all night. I’m usually pretty good at picking up on these things, but I was so fucked up I guess I missed it because I didn’t believe her and we went on our way.

Long story short, Linus and I wound up taking a cab back. The cab driver was pissy for some reason and wouldn’t take my credit card so Linus paid $40 in cash. I felt bad and told him I owed him. Two days later I got his number from a mutual friend and I asked Linus if he wanted to grab some food and watch football. He was up for it. When the games were over, I asked him if he was feeling spontaneous enough to watch a movie. He said yes. I thought we were hanging out. Mostly everybody else thought it was a date, which then made me worry if Linus thought it was a date. This is just bad news bears, I don’t want to be linked up with another law student!

Lynx: Fresh is saying that me and Linus went on a date. Do you think me buying him lunch and drinks and taking him to a movie, and spending 10 hours together constitutes as a date?

Bad-Ass: Yes. Lol. Idiot. Did you touch his wenis?

Lynx: No! Nothing romantic happened. I don’t think he tried anything sober.

Bad-Ass: So it was a really lame date lol

The Idiots I Deal With

Palmer: Thanks for blowing me off

Lynx: I didn’t say I was hanging out with you tonight

Palmer: Ya, you broke my heart

Lynx: Oh stop. I’m not breaking shit

Palmer: hahaha I want to see you so I can work my magic and make you fall in loooove

Lynx: Not likely

Palmer: Whatever

Lynx: That doesn’t exist in my vocabulary

Palmer: I’m going to make you fall in love then crushhh you

White It Out

Hawk: Are you doing this “White It Out” thing?
Lynx: What?
Hawk: Oh wait, it’s just my section.
Lynx: Oh I see how it is, trying to be all elite and shit.
Hawk: They want everyone to wear white to class to “White It Out.” I may wear red
Lynx: You’re going to look like a spot on a tampon
Hawk: Okay that’s gross! I’m not doing that