Aw did you have a chance?

It’s 7:30 am Central time and I’m sitting in class when I get an IM

Guy: if it isn’t a truly beautiful asian

Lynx: Thanks and good morning!

Guy: hey i don’t forget beautiful asians, even if they do move away! tear cause you moved away though

Lynx: lol I might be back one day

Guy: haha I will be married by then to my job. i won’t lie Lynx, i always wanted you. i know you weren’t looking or still aren’t looking to settle down but you always caught my eye

Lynx: aw you’re sweet

Guy: haha which translates into “you never stood a chance”

Get Your Tan On

March 2010

Oscara: I need to work out. I feel gross and want to lay out today

Lynx: I want to do happy hour but prolly won’t happen. I want to be in the sun but kinda don’t want to lay out because I hate tan lines

Oscara: I can deal with tan lines as long as I’m tan

Lynx: I hate having my boobs and cooch different colors than the rest of my body. I hate seeing that in porn.

Oscara: Hahaha well I guess I don’t watch enough porn to have an opinion.

Lynx: Well I don’t watch anymore but you get the idea. I don’t like thinking about it. And then when you’re fucking someone and I have to look down and see that when I’m on top, blah.

Oscara: haha I don’t really care

Lynx: I care! I have to look perfect even during sex!

Oscara: I like the tan lines because of the contrast of the skin of how amazingly tan I am when I was gross pale

Lynx: No cuz the guy is more than likely pale for the both of us!

Smoking Standards

November 2009

Floppy: So does it bother you that I smoke [cigarettes]?

Lynx: No. Should it?

Floppy: I don’t know, some people are bothered by it. I just wanted to know if you had a problem.

Lynx: It definitely would have bothered me more when I was younger. I wouldn’t give you the time of day. But now, it just doesn’t matter anymore.

Floppy: Wow, well I’m glad I met you now that you have lowered your standards for guys.

Wine Party

I was at a friend of a friend of a friend’s party at a loft in Miami Beach last night. Everyone was older than me by at least six years and they were drinking wine. It was like a wine and cheese party but they were completely missing the cheese. I guess Miami didn’t get the memo or they just have something against cheese. Having experienced the Cheesehead State, I think I can understand where they’re coming from.

I met a fellow Chicago-an. This was a grown ass man who carried a little T-rex toy with him everywhere. He took pictures of this dinosaur as if it were the traveling gnome (you know what commercial I’m referring to, right?). It seems funny at first but then you think about it. This guy in his thirties, with a nine ball forehead, and hobbity. He thought I was hitting on him, so he dropped “Oh my girlfriend is in medical school.” Hahaha and she signed up for a guy who can’t be separated from his toys?

Anyway some things were being passed around and I found myself sitting alone on a couch, seeing double, and trying really hard to be “grown up.” Whatever that means, right?

Lynx: Fuuuuck tired at an adult party in Miami ahhh
Bad-Ass: Enlightening
Lynx: Paranoid sitting in a corner. Why couldn’t there be cheese. Falling asleep

The next morning Bad-Ass sent back my text message, that I didn’t remember sending in the first place of course, and I have to admit it wasn’t one of my finer moments lol.

Bad-Ass: That was fucking brilliant :D I wasn’t even going to chastise you for not being more entertaining whilst [partying] after the first one haha

San Francisco Woman

As I’m trying to plan my upcoming trip to the west coast…

Lynx: What would you do if you were in San Francisco?
Bad-Ass: You really want to know?
Lynx: Yes
Bad-Ass: Find a Chinese woman and bang her through a brick wall. That’s about it. Maybe the Golden Gate.
Lynx: LMAO

Getting Serious with Floppy

18 days ago

I received a phone call from Woo Woo Mayer one night while I was getting ready to go out. The plan? Get drunk and bone. Woo Woo Mayer somehow thinks I’m the type to wine and dine.

Woo Woo Mayer: Hey what’s up?

Lynx: Oh just getting ready…

Woo Woo Mayer: What are you doing tonight?

Lynx: Floppy is coming to get me and then we’re going to Baldwin or Ale House, or staying here and watching a movie.

Woo Woo Mayer: Oh wow, that’s getting pretty serious.

Lynx: -trying hard not to laugh at Woo Woo Mayer- Yeah…let’s hope I have fun tonight.

Flop-A-Lynxettes

Text from earlier in the day, from me to Bad-Ass: I’m not gonna be a mother, happy birthday to me! :)

Bad-Ass: What’s this about not being preggers?

Lynx: haha I’m not preggers ;) Did I not tell you that I had to get Plan B because Floppy is trying to make Flop-A-Lynxettes with me?

Bad-Ass: LOL You say it like he’s breeding you

Lynx: Dude he totally is trying to sire bastard children!

Bad-Ass: Sow his wild oats in you lol

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