Bad-Ass: Next Feb 14th when I see you, I’m gonna make it super awkward and say “Happy Anniversary babe” and kiss you in front of all your friends. Lol Shake up the Dodecahedron. I’m totally gonna do it hahaha. Oh you’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll do even better. Write little love poems on your wall from time to time hahahaha. Ok you’re physically vomiting right now, aren’t you?
Archive for the 'Making fun of the Lynx' Category
Sloppy Shot: So what if he made you watch Cubs games. Its not like you could have watched a hockey game instead.
Lynx: I know. “Know.” Dude I was over there in the winter. And now he’s getting all pissy cuz I’m cockblocking him. Haha, I should have been able to watch a damn Blackhawks game. I’m thinking I should have a lover for all seasons. One for hockey, one for football, and baseball will be one loooong season cuz I dont do basketball
Sloppy Shot: haha, Sounds like quit the game plan, there is just one issue tho…
Lynx: Which is?
Sloppy Shot: You’ve been having trouble finding someone for just one season much less 3. Baby steps. Or maybe you could mix it up and have a girl for one of the seasons. That would be hot
Hawk: Guess who made it back to KC? Time to get nasty on some KU freshman!
Lynx: HAHAHA I want a text saying “Bone city” once you tapped it.
Hawk: Oh I’ll ring a gong for your yellow ass to hear!
Shave that shit
Published September 14, 2009 Law School , Making fun of the Lynx Leave a CommentTags: Bad-Ass
Lynx: So Mr. Star is sitting 2 seats from me, I can’t think haha He manscapes
Bad-Ass: Haha I guess he would. And HOW do you know that without sleeping with him? No. Don’t answer. It’s creepy either way lol.
Take It To The Pole
Published July 31, 2009 Boozing , Making fun of the Lynx , Unrequited Leave a CommentTags: Black Jack's, Dean
Dean doing a wildly inaccurate impression of me at the strip club Black Jack’s:
If you don’t like it [who I am], I’m gonna make out with your friend! Younger, faster, AND better looking!
Lynx: Remember I was telling you about that 31 year old? He texted me tonight, dammit, I broke up with him a year ago!
Dean: Wait you “broke up”? You?
Lynx: Okay I ended it. I broke it off, it wasn’t a break up.
Dean: And how long did you guys see each other?
Lynx: Like a month and a half. He still pulls the ” I want to get back together” crap and the “I want to be with you” shit. Now he was one pasty, pale ass motherfucker. It was ridiculous, he made some comment about how when he was younger he didn’t want to get a tattoo until he was built (muscular). So when he did get “muscles” he got a tattoo on his arm. Yeah well I saw that fucking thing and I had to laugh inside. He was scrawny as fuck. He wasn’t even toned! I fucked a guy a year younger than me who had a tattoo on his arm but at least he had the fucking muscles to back it up!
Dean: Wow you’re so mean haha.
Lynx: You know why I can be mean? Cuz I don’t lead them on!
The Road Runner
Published July 11, 2009 Making fun of the Lynx Leave a CommentTags: Lyle Harris, Quotes
July 2008
Trying to decide on names for a Field Day team.
Lynx: What about “Caucus Blockus”?
Lyle Harris: That would be your name if you were a road runner.
40 Year Old Virgin
Published July 10, 2009 Awkward , Making fun of the Lynx , Sex Leave a CommentTags: Bad-Ass
Steve Carrell as Andy Stitzer
Lynx: I’m watching 40 Year Old Virgin.
Bad-Ass: And you thought of me, I love you too.
Lynx: I had my first [intercourse] orgasm to this movie.
Bad-Ass: LMAO ARE YOU DRUNK??
Lynx: HOW DO YOU KNOW? …I had a few drinks.
Bad-Ass: I just told the whole room. AH HA HA HA!
Lynx: Asshole!
